During a Mass held the evening of Election Day, the priest at St. Clement Parish in Lincoln Park in Chicago asked for God’s blessings for “our world, our church and our nation, and those who need our prayers” during this decisive moment for the country.
“We pray for peace and unity,” said the Rev. Peter Wojcik, shortly before distributing the Eucharist to roughly three dozen faithful dotting the pews.
The church was open all day for services and private prayer, in part to serve as a haven for those plagued by worry, confusion or stress about the election and its aftermath.
“As anytime we feel these emotions, the best answer is to go to prayer,” states an Election Day prayer and resources guide on the church’s website. “By seeking God’s will, we ease the anxiety of the unknown and open our hearts to peace and respect.”
Yet unity and civility might prove difficult to foster for large swaths of the country. Although the election is over — and Republican Donald Trump has begun the transition to his second presidential term after defeating Democratic nominee Vice President Kamala Harris — much of America is still grappling to heal after a turbulent campaign season marked by vitriolic political rhetoric and violence.
The American Psychological Association report “Stress in America 2024: A Nation in Political Turmoil” paints a stark picture of the nation’s heightened anxiety, political polarization and strained social relationships.
More than three-quarters of American adults polled said the future of the nation is a source of significant stress and 69% reported worrying about the outcome of the election, according to the report. The survey, which was conducted by The Harris Poll and released in October, showed that more than half of Americans “have very little to no trust in the United States government,” and 41% said the state of the nation has even prompted them to consider moving to another country. Nearly two-thirds of those who responded felt their rights were under siege.
These divisions have also sown discord in relationships: Half of those surveyed reported that tension around social and political discussions made them less inclined to connect with other people and nearly 30% believe they have nothing in common with those with opposing political views; 46% said they would refuse to date someone with contrasting political views.
The upcoming holiday season might also be rough for some politically split families: About 30% of respondents reported curbing time with family members “because they don’t share the same values,” according to the report. Roughly a third of those polled said political polarization has strained relationships with relatives, and the percentages were higher for men, Latino respondents and members of the LGBTQ+ community.
“For nearly a decade, people have faced a political climate that is highly charged, which has led to the erosion of civil discourse and strained our relationships with our friends and our families,” American Psychological Association CEO Arthur Evans Jr. said in a written statement about the findings. “But isolating ourselves from our communities is a recipe for adding more stress to our lives. We must remember that the most extreme voices are often the loudest, and that the majority of adults share similar values and concerns.”
At St. Clement on Election Day, 63-year-old Joan Young said she took comfort in praying alongside her fellow parishioners during such an anxiety-ridden time. The images of saints that filled the church also served as a visual reminder that so much history has passed and much more will transpire, she said.
This moment for humanity is “like a blink of an eye historically,” she added.
Jeannine Cleary, 70, said she came to ask God for “peace in our country — healing,” regardless of the election’s outcome.
“That we can grow from it and survive,” she said. “That there’s peace and stability.”
Reassessing the political divide
Psychotherapist Jeanne Safer offers glimpses at how political feuds and growing polarization have strained American relationships in her book “I Love You, but I Hate Your Politics: How to Protect Your Intimate Relationships in a Poisonous Partisan World,” which came out in 2019 during the first Trump presidency.
The introduction depicts Thanksgiving meals cut short to avoid political arguments. More loved ones unfriending or unfollowing one another on social media due to ideological disputes. Partisan media growing in prominence as dialogue across the political aisle among friends and family members simultaneously “becomes rarer and rarer,” she lamented in the book.
“Now, in the Trump era, it has disappeared entirely: the political has become the personal, making lovers and friends with different party affiliations a vanishing breed,” the book concludes.
Yet Safer believes people can disagree politically and still love one another. She cited her own marriage of decades as a liberal to a staunch conservative. And her book draws from interviews with dozens of others who are in politically mixed relationships of all types, creating a practical guide to preserving respect and love even amid political or ideological disagreements.
“People don’t realize you can have a difference of opinion with somebody, even somebody you love and care about, and the world doesn’t end,” Safer said during a recent interview with the Tribune.
While Safer draws the line at racist, abusive or perpetually hostile behavior, she said in most cases there’s usually common ground and room to learn that people can be different politically and still love one another.
One test she offers is to imagine you’re sick or hospitalized: Who will come care for you? And do their political ideologies really matter then?
“When you’re ill, do they come and help you? That’s what matters to me,” she said. “I think when we lose that, we start thinking of politics rather than of love.”
Two researchers from the University of Illinois Chicago co-produced a video intervention that has been shown to reduce toxic political polarization among its viewers.
For the project, Democrat and Republican voters were filmed making guesses about what supporters of the other party thought about them and policy issues. Then they were told the actual responses members of the opposing party gave to those same questions, which often differed greatly from their expectations: Views about folks from across the aisle tended to be much more positive than anticipated; opinions given by Republicans and Democrats on political issues were more closely aligned than predicted.
“People’s subjective perceptions of American politics, of partisans from their own party and the other party, are often wildly inaccurate,” said one of the researchers, Michael Pasek, assistant professor of psychology. “We sometimes make assumptions that people who are opposing party members disagree with us more than they actually do and view us with more animosity — even dehumanize us — more than they actually do. And psychologically, when we misperceive those things, it can lead us in turn to embrace our own darker instincts and create this kind of race to the bottom.”
The Democrat and Republican voters ranged in age and demographic groups, said researcher Rebecca Littman, assistant professor of psychology.
“To really show that this is happening to all of us,” she said. “That we’re all having these misperceptions and we’re all surprised, to some extent, when we realize we have more in common and that … we have less animosity toward the other group than we might think.”
The participants’ reactions to their misperceptions were filmed in real time and used to create the video intervention.
Then the researchers studied the impact that watching the videos had on viewers, including measuring attitudes toward members of the other political party as well as support for undemocratic practices and political violence.
A study published last month in the journal Science found the video intervention reduced animosity across party lines as well as antidemocratic attitudes and support for violence among viewers.
“Sometimes our two-party system doesn’t empower us to assemble around the common ground because it literally serves as a magnetic tool that pulls us to the side,” Pasek said. “This is a moment where Americans that do share core democratic ideals really do need to figure out where that common ground is. Because our power to protect our country against really dire threats to democracy relies on us realizing that there are people who belong to different parties we can work together with.”
‘Reconnecting with humanity’
Stress can be common during elections and people often feel depressed afterward, as well as anxious about the future, if their preferred candidate lost, said Christopher Ojeda, assistant professor of political science at the University of California at Merced.
Those suffering from a sense of election loss and sadness should “feel free to take some time to themselves — to step away from politics and tend to their psychological well-being,” said Ojeda, author of the upcoming book, “The Sad Citizen: How Politics Is Depressing and Why It Matters.”
But once individuals feel ready to re-engage, political participation can actually be empowering, he said.
“Participation can give us a sense of control over the future,” he said. “Activism can also shape what policies ultimately get passed by the Trump administration or by state and local governments.”
Ojeda added that having conversations with people who have different political views or backgrounds can also work to quell political polarization.
“This doesn’t have to be about persuasion as much as it is about sharing your story and helping others better understand people like you,” he said. “Of course, you should only have these conversations if you feel comfortable and safe doing so.”
For those struggling with sadness and anxiety in the election’s aftermath, some coping strategies can include journaling, meditation and spending time with friends, as well as taking breaks from news and social media, said Dr. Nina Vasan, clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at Stanford University School of Medicine.
She knows some folks who plan to take a long hike with friends as a means of immersing in nature and leaving behind the barrage of political news and social media posts.
“It’s reconnecting with humanity. It’s reconnecting with, not who we are in terms of what policy positions we think make best sense, but who we are as people who love each other, support each other, and being able to connect on those levels,” she said. “Taking politics out of the discussion for a bit, I think, is actually very healthy.”
Vasan also recommended dedicating a little time for gratitude.
“I try and start the day, or maybe reflecting on the past day, thinking ‘whom am I grateful for,” she said, adding that she often then takes a moment to thank the individual or people for what they’ve done.
While daily gratitude won’t resolve the state of the nation or repair frayed relationships, she said it can reframe an individual’s perspective.
“It changes the way you feel about the world,” Vasan said. “Instead of seeing all of this negativity, this us-versus-them and all of that, you’re able to connect and value the good things you do have.”
Candles, reflection and hope
In Park Ridge, a dozen local clergy members circulated a pastoral letter to the community a few days before the election.
“It may feel like our society has become more polarized, more divided than ever before. We are all experiencing tension in the air,” the letter said. “We would like to remind us all that we are still neighbors, and what we have in common is always stronger than the policies, opinions, and even politicians that might separate us.”
Among the signers was the Rev. Kyle Severson of St. Luke’s Lutheran Church in Park Ridge, which held a prayer vigil during polling hours on Election Day. The pastor said he wanted to offer the church sanctuary to the community for prayer, candle-lighting and reflection.
“For me, it was just watching how many people were holding so much during this time of worry and concern. And that feels so different,” Severson said. “People have disagreed about candidates every time. But the amount of worry people are carrying this time around felt so much heavier. So this was just to give people space for that.”
He also noted that the sanctuary was free of screens, providing a respite from social media and the 24-hour news cycle. Lighting a candle can be a visible sign of a prayer, an often cathartic practice amid anxiety or uncertainty, he added.
“The lighting of a candle in prayer is a way to take what’s weighing on my heart and give it some external representation, so I can do something with it,” he said.
The church offered those who attended a sheet with a series of prayer suggestions, including supplications for the most vulnerable in society, those without housing, racial minorities, LGBTQ+ folks, immigrants, first-time voters and those who cannot vote.
“Pray for families and friends who politically disagree,” the sheet said. “Ask God to grant them the courage to hear one another out, the strength to treat one another with kindness, and the hope that they can continue in formative relationship with one another, despite today’s outcomes.”
Carolynn Joesten, 83, of Park Ridge said she came into the church on Election Day “with a lot of anxiety.”
“And I am leaving with much more peace that God will be with me,” she said. “God is bigger than the whole thing.”
Joesten lit two candles at church: She said one was for peace and mutual respect for those who are not on the same side politically.
The other candle was for the youth of the nation and future generations.
“Especially for my grandchildren,” she said. “That what they inherit will be a good world.”
eleventis@chicagotribune.com
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