Sez Me (Heisman Trophy edition) …
Caleb Williams speaks Hun on the field. Ruthless. A one man Plundering Herd. Off of it, he’s a hound dog, crying all the time.
Football players aren’t supposed to cry, but I find it refreshing, a QB wearing his heart on his arm. Caleb Williams weeps uncontrollably after every USC defeat, as if he’s binging “Old Yeller” and “Love Story.”
It may not be becoming for a quarterback. Imagine Dan Fouts crying. But, in Caleb’s defense, I assume the tears come when he can’t get the defenseless Trojans 50 or 60 points — or enough to win.
I also assume the sobs aren’t going to be enough to keep him from being the first player taken in the draft by some fortunate NFL club that will be wealthy enough to supply Kleenex.
Unless he refuses to return for his senior season rather than play for some stiff (probably inevitable, anyway), he’ll be the top pick in the NFL Draft, dry or teary-eyed. And it won’t be close. There will be Caleb, then everyone else.
This youngster can cry me the Amazon. He’s not only the best collegiate quarterback, but the best football player. He ranks among the greatest college QBs of all time, and I mean he’s leaning at the tape.
He is a magician. Caleb weaves prestidigitation into most every snap. No box is left unchecked. Size. Strength. He throws with ridiculous accuracy going deep, intermediate and short. Great anticipation and awareness. Doesn’t throw picks. Practices to deceive. Runs like Hell’s beckoning. Remarkable escapability.
Williams easily won last year’s Heisman, and if voters weren’t so anxious to do something different (read: stupid), he’d win it again. But he probably won’t because the Trojans know how to throw a party for opposing offenses.
(Coach Lincoln Riley now has fired defensive coordinator Alex Grinch, who not only stole Christmas, but was Napoleon’s chief strategist at Waterloo.)
The voters don’t like to award Heisman to the same player twice in a row. They did with Archie Griffin, although he didn’t deserve the second one, and maybe not the first).
Phooey.
The Heisman ballot says to vote for the best collegiate football player. Caleb Williams is the best player. He’s better than current frontrunners, Washington’s Michael Penix, he of the strange delivery, and Bo Nix, who once was Dan Fouts’ backup at Oregon.
Good players those guys. But they’re not Williams.
Still, it’s no disgrace being shunned. Not many Heismans go to the best player. Gino Torretta won over Marshall Faulk, which was a disgrace.
I stopped voting when the Heisman folks took back Reggie Bush’s award. Given what’s going on in colleges today, what Reggie supposedly did wrong was a parking ticket. Reggie should have won the year before, too.
The trophy is to take citizenship and sportsmanship into account. And yet is named in the honor of a coach who ran up a keen 220 in Cumberland.
O.J. Simpson’s plaque remains on the wall of the Downtown Athletic Club. He wasn’t asked to return his award, but then, he sold it to the highest bidder.
Where is Reggie’s Heisman? At one point, it was resting like Citizen Kane’s Rosebud, in the Hall of Champions Balboa Park basement.
It should be returned to Bush, if not the greatest college player of all time … well, hell, his highlight reel says he was.
If Williams is invited to New York for the Heisman ceremonies, he should send regrets if it appears he’s not in the running. Hopefully, without the Dick Vermeil tears.
As with Faulk, we’ll all know who’s best, anyway. …
The NFL Team That Used To Be Here mopped up on the Bears and Jets, two offensively impaired football teams. The test comes Sunday. The Lions have few holes, and are anything but cowardly. …
Tom Brady will have a big hand in the Raiders’ coaching hire. He prefers his old offensive coordinator, Josh McDaniels. Owner Mark “Son of Al” Davis will say something like: “I’ve never heard of this guy, Tom. What’s his background?”
I’ve seen enough of Travis Kelce. We went out to dinner the other night to escape him and he was our waiter. Not only that, he said we undertipped. …
Jason Kelce is a finalist for People magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive.” Travis allegedly had to bow out of the running after Taylor Swift was caught stealing signs. ..
Nothing on our planet is more difficult than evaluating a college quarterback. Remove the “r” and “o” from C.J. Stroud’s last name. To quote Howard Cosell: “Who goofed, I’ve got to know.” …
With Jim Harbaugh on double-secret probation and not allowed at games, I wonder how much Michigan cheated Saturday when the Wolverines kicked the Nittany out of Penn State in Unhappy Valley? …
Jim always was straight with me. When he was coaching USD, he got a 502, and granted me an interview the following day. Stand up. …
If Shohei Ohtani becomes a one-dimensional DH, he’s simply not worth 3-D money. …
If you’re going to pay a DH that much, give it to Juan Soto, a better hitter. …
Fernando Tatis Jr. and Ha-Seong Kim win Gold Gloves, Tatis also a platinum. Kim is terrific everywhere. And I wonder if any right fielder has won it his first year of playing the position? …
The Hall of Fame veterans committee continues to ignore Curt Flood, one of most important players in baseball history. Curt was a huge spine floating on a sea of vertebrates. …
Brian Cashman says his Yankees are “pretty (F word) good.” Good? Yes. For nothing. Talk about a GM who hangs on, but at least he’s won something. …
“We plan absentee ownership as far as running the Yankees is concerned. We’re not going to pretend we’re something we’re not. I’ll stick to building ships.” — George Steinbrenner after buying the Yankees in 1973. …
I enjoyed the pitch clock. Not the ghost runner, which isn’t baseball. Umpires balls and strike calls? There are times when I no longer can watch the preposterous. …
Al Michaels says he will return in 2024. A wonderful thing. Some idiots claim he’s not as enthusiastic. After you turn 70, enthusiasm is more difficult than tying shoes. …
Hank Aaron, Sandy Koufax’s toughest out: “I looked for the same pitch my whole career, a curveball. I never worried about the fastball. They couldn’t throw it past me. None of them.” Fastest bat. Ever. …
I wouldn’t believe or touch a college or political poll with a 10-foot pole of polls. …
The Aztecs never again should play BYU in anything, and that includes Old Maid. The Y’s starting guard graduated when Obama was in office. …
Congratulations to Philip Rivers, who now has fathered his 10th child. One more, and all he needs is a kicker — unless one of the kids can do both. …
Heard this: Hungry kids don’t learn. …
It should be Veterans Year. Vets deserve more than a day. …
Don’t vote? Don’t bitch.
