When meeting for the first time, you tend to determine whether you find each other attractive and if you enjoy spending time together.
While honesty and open communication are key in any healthy and fulfilling relationship, when you are beginning to date somebody, there could be key signs that you are on different pages.
Aside from being upfront with what your intentions are during the dating phase, if one person is looking for a meaningful relationship, there could be clues that the other might just be passing time and there really isn’t longevity in the connection.
While it would be better if both people communicated very openly about where they see the connection going, sometimes one might be misled by another – whether intentionally or not.
To help protect your heart, Match’s dating expert Hayley Quinn has identified key phrases somebody leaning towards a more casual, fleeting romance might say.
Quinn said: “If someone isn’t looking for something long-term, then they’re more likely to talk about this period in their life as one of exploration.” One phrase to be mindful of is “right now I’m just enjoying new experiences”.
While dating, be wary when the person you are dating flippantly mentions longer-term plans that don’t involve you. Should someone not mention you in their future plans, it could be because they don’t see you in their future.
“They may even explicitly tell you that they’re not looking for a relationship,” said Quinn. “If this is the case, even if you have a great connection and are messaging every day, put yourself first, take them at their word and don’t expect their viewpoint to change.”
When you find yourself investing in someone emotionally who is presenting to you that you two are not aligning on what you want from each other, a conversation needs to be had.
For your own sake, if you want a committed relationship and it transpires that the other person doesn’t, you need to respect yourself and walk away from the connection.
While walking away may feel painful in the moment, or for a bit afterwards, time is a great healer (a cliche but true), and then you are available to meet someone who wants the same thing that you do.
“Most people want the same things; love, connection, and physical intimacy,” said Quinn, who is a great believer that there are plenty of fish in the sea.
“For most people, at the right stage in their lives, this will take the form of a long-term, committed relationship.”
Quinn added: “However, the only way you truly know what someone else is looking for, is to get to know them and have a meaningful conversation about it.”
The dating expert advised: “It will take time for you to get to know the other person, and this will nearly inevitably mean there’s a period of time where you don’t know where you stand with one another.
“If your relationship status is unclear, it’s important to consider how much you are comfortable giving to this interaction, both emotionally and physically.”
This could be any form of intimacy, from kissing and holding hands that may cloud your judgement on where the connection is going, when it may actually be running into a dead end.
