It might be the dreariest month of the year, but there are at least two things going for February: It’s short, and it’s not January.
February brings a reprieve from the pressures that come with the start of the year. The steady stream of gym advertisements eases up. Dry January ends, and bars get more of their customers back. For those of us already thinking about abandoning our New Year’s resolutions, the arrival of February may seem like tacit permission to give up.
If you haven’t made as much progress on your resolutions as you might like, psychologists stress that you shouldn’t be hard on yourself. “Life is about consistent, attainable healthy habits, or adding things into your life in manageable pieces,” said Thea Gallagher, a clinical psychologist and associate professor at NYU Langone Health.
Here’s how to keep working toward your goals, in February and throughout the year.
Reflect on your resolutions
It’s important to first think about whether you made the right resolution, said Tyler J. VanderWeele, an epidemiology and biostatistics professor and director of the Human Flourishing Program at Harvard University. Reflect on what’s going right — and what’s not going so great — with your goals so far.
“Maybe I didn’t follow through because, actually this isn’t what’s most important to me right now,” VanderWeele said. Or maybe your resolution still feels important, but you’re struggling to stay committed. In that case, you might benefit from setting more achievable milestones.
Consider a goal that’s “almost embarrassingly manageable,” Gallagher said. She has challenged herself to read 10 minutes a day — which might not sound like much but adds up over the week, she said. Instead of aiming for lofty goals, start low and go slow. It’s advice that marathon runners follow, and it helps them get over the finish line.
Give yourself a margin of error
You can’t, and shouldn’t, expect to hit a goal 100 percent of the time. If you’re trying to eat better, for example, maybe follow an 80/20 rule, Gallagher said: Let yourself eat whatever you want 20 percent of the time, so you don’t burn out on rigid restrictions. She mentioned a client who struggled to find time to work out during the week. Gallagher said she advised her client to schedule workouts on weekend mornings, rather than feel pressured to cram in exercise every day.
Give yourself some wiggle room. If you’re trying to scale back on social media, maybe limit yourself to 15 minutes a day, instead of going cold turkey.
Find an accountability buddy
If you’re trying to practice yoga more often, find a friend who can cheer you on and send them a post-savasana selfie. If you want to spend more time outside this year, pencil in a weekly stroll with a family member, or call a friend while you walk, suggested Angela Neal-Barnett, a professor of psychological sciences at Kent State University.
It’s also helpful to schedule a regular check-in on your goals with a loved one so you can update each other on your progress, VanderWeele said. Having a regular time to connect — whether that’s a Wednesday night call or a Sunday morning coffee — can encourage you to keep moving toward your goals and also help strengthen your relationships.
“We know from lots and lots of studies and data that participating in community and having those close relationships affect so many other areas of life,” he said. “Including making one happier and healthier.”
Show yourself some compassion
“In psychology, we use these two words a lot: So what?” Neal-Barnett said. You missed a day of Duolingo on your quest to learn Spanish. So what? You plunked into bed last night without taking the time to journal. So what?
Show yourself grace and compassion, she said. Instead of beating yourself up, savor the small wins. If you’re trying to walk 2 miles every day and logged only a half-mile today, appreciate the movement you did fit in.
“Tomorrow is another day,” Neal-Barnett said. “And you just start there.”
Blum writes for The New York Times.
